However, I felt that the most substantial, real thing in the whole novel was the 'instructions' Tessa left for each of her loved ones. Tessa's last moments, which were a merging of random but somehow related thoughts she had throughout the book, did stir something up in me, but even that was just pity for this unfortunate girl. The fact that he never really gave up on her, but was also trying to make the most of the time she had left.ĭownham's writing isn't extraordinary, and I never found myself moved. Though I didn't warm to Tessa, I especially liked Zoey and Tessa's Dad's characters Zoey for not abandoning a friend just because she was ill and 'Dad' for the truthful way that he handled the situation.

It is unfair to be torn from life at such a cruel age, but that doesn't mean that a novel based solely on a characters' rage is nice to read… I found Before I Die to be driven mainly on Tessa's illness, rather than her life and HER as a character and as a good person. There were many times where I felt guilty about living, not uplifted or grateful of life and rather depressed at the inevitable death I shall also have to face one day. Though Before I Die is refreshing from those books tackling Cancer that focus on courage and battling the war within you, and staying strong, it can be slightly disheartening. She spent much of her time envying those alive with a future ahead of them and felt almost as though she'd been cheated out of life. Tessa also spent most of her time contemplating death, and listing all the things that she would miss once she is gone. Did she not see how much she had? Some people live a life without love, and she was constantly surrounded by it, but she didn't realise that until her last moments. In addition, the needy and inconsiderate way she treated Adam, her boyfriend, was rather annoying. She also was rather rude to her family, especially her younger brother, without even considering the hell that they must've been going through. For instance, she burnt all her belongings in rage, leaving her father with nothing to remember her by once she's gone. There were points where I felt that Tessa was being a little selfish. I was thankful that the list wasn't printed in the first chapter, but was slowly revealed to the reader as the story went on, and as Tessa got sicker. I believe that it was this journey that Tessa went on, that was the most impressive, realising what is most important in life, and what is not. She replaces 'go travelling' with 'parents get back together'). Her list of things to do before she dies starts off rather shallowly with Sex, with anyone (with a random, stoned boy she meets in a bar), but progressively became more mature, and more meaningful (e.g.

Before i die by jenny downham